Bacon Cheeseburger Poptarts

I saw these first on Buzzfeed and that lead me to Pornburger. There was no recipe there so I decided to give it a go myself. 

I mean...

How I could I not try and make this? 

First of all...it's got bacon jam (yep, it's totally a thing),

secondly, it's got melty cheese and hamburger,

thirdly, it's robed in flaky, crispy crust with sesame seeds.

I could go on but I think those 3 points are reason enough, right?  

What I found funny was the comments people were leaving over at Buzzfeed. They were getting so upset because the person who created these called them "poptarts".  People were arguing that they were just a meat pie/hand pie, or that they were simply "hot pockets", that they were really similar to Jamaican patties, Beef Wellington, or Cornish pastries. 

Whatevs is what I say. 

Call it whatever you want. It's delicious. It's fun. It's everything you want a snack to be. We hope you enjoy our version!

Bacon Cheeseburger Poptarts

Ingredients

Bacon Onion Jam

1 lb bacon, diced

2 medium onions, diced

1/4 cup brown sugar

1/3 cup strong coffee

1/2 cup water

1 Tbsp balsamic vinegar

Burger

1 lb extra lean ground beef

1/4 cup onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

salt & pepper

1/4 tsp garlic powder

1/4 tsp onion powder

Pastry

2 cups flour

1 Tbsp sugar

pinch salt

1 cup butter, cold

1 egg

2 - 4 Tbsp buttermilk

Extras

cheese

1 egg, beaten

sesame seeds, toasted

Directions

Prepare Bacon Onion Jam - in a large frying pan, fry bacon until it is done but not crispy. Remove cooked bacon and set aside. Drain off all but about a tablespoon of the bacon grease. Add the onions to the pan. 

Cook and stir until onions begin to soften, about 5 minutes. 

Turn heat to low and add sugar, coffee, water, and the bacon back to the pan.

Let simmer until mixture is thick and reduced, like jam, about 30 minutes, stirring approx every 5 minutes or so to prevent burning. 

Remove from heat and stir in the balsamic vinegar. If you are happy with the texture then leave as is, if it seems to thick/chunky then pulse briefly (two or three times) in a blender or food processor to thin it down (see photo below).

You can use this immediately or refrigerate for up to a week. (For the purpose of using in this recipe - chill in fridge until ready to use.)

Prepare Burger mixture - In the frying pan you cooked the Bacon Onion Jam in, cook the beef, onion, and garlic until beef is no longer pink. Sprinkle with spices and stir to evenly distribute. 

When everything is cooked, drain the beef to remove any excess liquid.

Let cool. (You can place in fridge to accelerate this process)

Prepare Pastry - In a large mixing bowl, stir together flour, sugar, and salt. Cut in the cold butter using a pastry blender or 2 butter knives. (You can also pulse this all together in a blender or food processor). Mixture should resemble coarse crumbs. 

Beat together the egg and 2 Tbsp buttermilk. Using a fork, stir the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients until dough comes together. (You may need to add more buttermilk, a tablespoon at a time, until desired consistency is reached.) 

Pat dough into a ball and divide into 4.

Cover and let rest for at least 10 - 15 minutes. 

Assemble Poptarts - Preheat oven to 350. 

Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper, set aside.

Roll out one quarter of the dough into a 12 X 8 rectangle. Cut out 8, 3 X 4 little rectangles. (In the photo below you can see one of my Poptarts is a little smaller than the others. I didn't quite cut my dough into equal quarters so this quarter had a little less dough than the others!) 

Using a pastry or basting brush, brush each rectangle with a little of the beaten egg, being sure to get right up to the edge.

Top 4 of the rectangles with a generous spoonful of the cooled hamburger mixture. 

Then top with a spoonful of the Bacon Onion Jam. (In the photo below I also topped some with Sue's Rhubarb Relish {we'll share that recipe with you soon!}- middle one, some with just bacon bits - beside the little one, and left one plain -the tiny one on the side.) Be careful to leave about 1/4 inch border around the outside so you can seal the Poptart.

Now top with a little bit of cheese. Again, don't go too crazy! You don't want your Poptart to explode apart.

Flip the bottom piece of dough up over the top piece, so the eggy side is facing in, and lightly press together around the edges.

Using a fork, press the edges firmly together. Then poke a couple of holes on top for the steam to escape.

Brush the tops of the Poptarts with more beaten egg and then sprinkle generously with toasted sesame seeds.

Repeat with remaining pieces of dough until you have used it all up. I got 16 Poptarts total with some of the hamburger filling and bacon jam left over. (You could probably make another batch of dough and get another dozen or so out of the filling.) Place all Poptarts onto prepared cookie sheet. 

Bake at 350 until tops are golden brown and pastry is puffed, about 25 - 35 minutes.

Let cool about 5 - 10 minutes before serving. (You can also freeze these and then reheat them in the oven when you want to serve them. I did 350 for about 20 minutes and they were just like when I first made them.) 

I could just look at these all day. They're so pretty.

Want a bite?

I'm even willing to share...

You can't see the melty cheese...but it's in there.

We loved the Bacon Onion Jam and the Rhubarb Relish in these. You could also simplify things and top your hamburger with a little mustard and ketchup or even a small bit of chopped pickles. 

Go crazy!

Call it a Poptart or whatever you want...but one thing is for sure, you will call it delicious!

We're sharing at these fab linky parties! Be sure to check them out! - The Chicken Chick, The Mandatory Mooch, Six Sister's Stuff, Kitchen Fun With My 3 Sons, Memories By The Mile,  Anyonita Nibbles, Nap Time Is My Time, Carole's Chatter